Is There Anything Good in This Cookbook?

two black cats on cookbook

Mimi and Giuseppe hold my cookbook hostage.

“Why don’t you ever cook anything good?”

“What would you consider to be good?”

“Fresh raw mouse, with a side of fresh Kentucky bluegrass to cleanse my palate.”

“Kind of defeats the idea of ‘cooking’, doesn’t it, Giuseppe?”

“Well, you could still serve us something like that.”

“In the first place, it’s not my job to catch the mice around here. Second, you can get the mouse part yourself in the basement—in fact, you’d better—and no doubt the mousie would have recently eaten some fresh grass from the yard. You don’t need me to do that.”

“There aren’t enough mousies to go around. You need to go get some or let some more in.”

“I’m perfectly happy with the number of mousies in the house. Besides that, ask your mom what she thinks of raw mousies.”

“Mimi Mom?”

“I don’t care if I ever see another mousie again, dead or alive, raw or cooked.”

“But mom!”

“It’s a totally different story when that’s all you have to eat.”

“But I hear they are so good for you.”

“They are, but they aren’t worth the trouble. Now those freeze-dried mouse treats our human mom gave us, those I could live on.”

“I remember those…”

“You were very young, but I think our mom saved most of them for us adults when you kittens were running around torturing us.”

“Freeze-dried mice…”

“Giuseppe, don’t get any funny ideas. The basement is not that cold. Can I have my cookbook you two?”

“Are you going to cook pasta again? I see the olive oil and parmesan cheese.”

“You aren’t going to get any anyway! Now both of you need to move so I can look up my recipe.”

N.B.: Giuseppe hopes Mlle. Daisy Marguerite doesn’t think any less of him because he’s hanging out with his mom. He heard someone called him a “mama’s boy”.

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